Back from oblivion… October 27, 2009
Posted by toni in : General Musings , 1 comment so farTime to get back to it. “It” being collective parts of my life left to wallow in failure in ‘08. I think though, it’s not techniquely failure if you pick your self up off the ground and try, try, try again. After dealing with my demons I’m back to my original goal of completing an Ironman and actually training for a marathon properly, Ironman Canada and the Bataan Memorial Death March Marathon. I’ve been bitten by the bug again, thankfully, and am on schedule (knock on wood) to make two of my dreams become a reality. So over the next year I’ll try to keep up with my training blog and really just use this as a sounding board about great and challenging training sessions to remind me of how well I’m doing and how hard it has been to make me as strong as it will be necessary to attain these dreams and cross that finish line in Penticton. To remind me of how mentally strong I am, how far I’ve come and to keep up with the mental training required to get me to that line. That last part was rhetorical for my own benefit. Nuff said.
Up to now I’ve been mostly training for the marathon since August and am up to 7 mi on my long run. The marathon is in March and I really want to prepare for it properly this time, hence the long training schedule. My first mary, the Honolulu Marathon, in ‘99 was with Team in Training. I was stressed out and mostly focused on the fundraising portion since the donations were not coming as fast as time was passing. I made it with an inch to spare for the fundraising, but my training suffered for it. I finished the mary in about 5:30 with the first 30 mins being walking to the starting line behind about 40,000 other runners. It was fun, but I lost it at the end, crying and not feeling good about my training, wishing I had done better. The second mary I did, in ‘04, was a small one in a rural town and it was like running by yourself. Kinda boring for me. I did the training and was pretty diligent about it from what I can remember, but didn’t train at all for the terrain which was rolling hills - for 26 mi. At the time I’d been living in flat desert so had few opportunities to run hills. There was one hill that I think we found and we ran it a few times thinking we’d be fine since we’d done the mileage. By mile 13, I felt as though I’d run a full mary and still had 13 mi more to go. Again I finished, but felt worse at the end than I did in Honolulu. I’ve always wanted to go back and feel better about those finishes. Train right, be religious about my training and make good on it.
This next marathon I will do has some deeper meaning to it than just training right. My grandfather was a POW in WWII. He was in a National Guard unit that was sent to Bataan, Phillipines to prevent the Japanese from taking over one of the main islands. Outnumbered, starving and most severely ill, the mix of American and Phillipino soldiers were taken captive by the Japanese for five years. Those of whom lived to make it through all five years, that is. My grandfather was one of them. Unfortunately, three years after his release, he was, ironically, killed in a car accident. Makes you scratch your head and say “huh?” doesn’t it? He came away from all of it with two Purple Hearts and the honor of serving his country. In his honor, I will train religiously and will run 26.2 miles through the desert of the White Sands Missile Range in March 2010. Gives me the extra shove out the door that I sometimes need. I hope to meet a few of the elderly soldiers still alive and ask them about him. See if they knew him, if they can tell me anything about him. Fingers crossed for good memories from aging souls.
In December, I will begin training for IMC 2010. Paid the dues twice and this time there will be a finisher’s medal around my neck no matter what I have to do to survive it. Therefore, I’ve already started the mental training needed for it. Get the right brain all trained up and stocked with lots of distracting subjects just in time to start training for the IM. I’ve also started thinking about the what if’s. Not obsessively, but whenever it pops into mind or while reading a race report. WWTD in that situation? T is for Toni. That phrase is so two+ years ago, but absolutely poignant. What would I do? How would I like to handle “that” situation if it happened to me?
Anyhow, before I delve any deeper than you or I are willing to go, I will stop here for now. This is more than I thought it would be, but it’s nice to get some of this stuff out of my head. Allows extra room for more storage. 
Thoughts on this HR & IM training thing January 14, 2008
Posted by toni in : Training , 4 commentsI’m in my 4th week of training for IM Canada and it’s been a good learning journey so far. Makes me wish I had taken the HR training thing seriously a long time ago. It kills me when I go running because I’m either walking or jogging really, really slow. It especially hurts when other runners are out and see me either walking or jogging at sloth speed. Oh well. I’m trusting my training plan from the SuperCoach Network or OpenTri (opentri.com) as they are now known. Mike Llerandi says in the plan that I’ll get faster as does every athlete he coaches every year. Trust the plan. It’s kind of cool to have a plan that I don’t have to pay for, but he does accept donations. I’m thinking at the end of all this I’ll send him a copy of my finishing pic and fat check in appreciation. Until then…trust the plan.
Swimming is going well. I’m getting a tad bit faster and my shoulders hurt less now. I do like the workouts. It’s nice to have some direction in the pool, albeit, from a piece of paper. It’s my bible right now though. Sticking to it. Line by line. Does anyone’s HR monitor work in the pool? Mine is always wierd so I’ve stopped wearing it.
Biking. I’ve spent a lot more time on the trainer than I thought I would be this winter. But I am ruling the small chain ring! 
After an hour and a half, I can’t imagine having to do a long 4 hour ride in prep for IMFL like Tribro did. Yowch! and NO WAY! But when it’s snowing out I guess you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.
Lessons learned: I’m learning that even though I think I’ve drunk enough water, it’s still not enough; that 7 hours of sleep a night is not going to cut it; I’m moody when I’m tired; having my HR not cooperate with a run can make me sulk for a few hours; it’s good to have 24 hours between workouts; positive thinking can conquer a lot; not wussing out on a workout is like building up a savings account for mental toughness. I’m sure there’s more, but this is all I can think of right now.
222 days until I become an IronWOman!
I signed my life away this weekend… August 28, 2007
Posted by toni in : Training , 3 commentsfor Ironman Canada 2008. I wasn’t as apprehensive about it as I thought I might be. I was pretty excited actually. The following year is all I can think about. Gotta get some things in order first. My back is starting to rear its head again and my PT friend says that the knee pain I’m having occasionally may be my miniscus. So I definitely want to get those things dealt with first before Jan/Feb 2008. That way I can be strong for the distance training that awaits me.
It’s gonna be sooo much fun though. I can’t wait. I finally get to realize the dream I’ve had for 10 years. And I’m not scared or intimidated because I know what it takes and I know I can put in the time needed. I’ll be reading tons this fall about training and working on technique as well.
First things first though, I still have a season to finish. Sprint tri in <3 weeks and a HIM in <4 weeks.
Swim, Bike, Barefoot Run August 21, 2007
Posted by toni in : Training, Running, Swimming, Biking , 4 commentsSo today started out with a visit to the pool for the first time in months since I’ve been swimming in the lake instead. 300 wu, speed intervals 25 x 4, 50 x 6, 25 x 4, 200 cd. The speed intervals were hard for me since I’ve not really ever done them before. They did get easier the more that I did them, but I did notice that I would start to fatigue towards the end of each 50 and had to focus on form. And so starts my voyage to becoming a faster swimmer.
Then I hopped on my bike and rode to Seattle (20 mi) to meet my friend Lisa for dinner at a yummy mexican food joint next to Green Lake. Hopped back on my bike and rode home only getting 14.5 miles. For the last 5 miles of the portion back home my chain kept skipping and not catching onto the intended chain ring. It also came completely off 4-5 times before the end of my biking journey. Completely annoying. At 14.5 miles, during the ride back. The chain had come off once again as I shifted and forced me off only to find that part of my rear derailleur had come apart. Thankfully most of the parts were under the bike on the ground. After trying to fix it for 5 mins, unsuccessfully, I contemplated my options now that I was 5.5 miles from home with a bike that would not be taking me the rest of the way. I could get a taxi or I could run home in my socks…. I chose the latter since I was feeling pretty good and was unsure if a taxi would even be able to find me since I was in a funky location. I would have called friends to pick me up, but it was 12:30 at night. I didn’t want to bother anyone. Besides, I’m a triathlete. I can definitely run it. 
I hid my bike, left unnecessary items with it, including my shoes, grabbed my water bottle and began my barefoot adventure.
Running in socks wasn’t too terribly bad. Stepping on rocks definitely hurt like a mother, but that happened maybe less than 10 times. The run, although slow, felt pretty good despite my previous training today. The balls of my feet hurt the most and my socks are ruined and there is one blister that came out of it. But all in all, not too bad for my first barefoot run. The carpet in my apt felt soooooo nice and soft on my feet. It was like heaven! My calf actually seized up on me after I put on my running shoes once I was home. With running shoes on I jumped in the car and went to get my bike, which was still there. Again, I was in a remote spot so I wasn’t too worried about leaving it behind.
And that is the story of my random, unintended triathlon.
Zen swimming and training revelation August 7, 2007
Posted by toni in : Training, Swimming, Biking, Random Thoughts , 1 comment so farLast night I met up with my team, Emerald City Multisport, for an OW swim at Seward Park. There were tons of women out last night. Most of them (not part of our group) were getting ready for their first Danskin in a couple of weeks. It was fun to see, since that was where I raced my very first tri. Then there was our group, where only three of us were from our club. The rest were a Team in Training group that our President coach’s.
I got there a little late since I rode my bike in. More on that later. Once I was finally ready to go, everyone had left already. I waded in and joined them. We were swimming to the farthest bouy to stay out of the way of the newbie swimmers and their noodles (to give them confidence while being in the water and security that they won’t drown) on their way to the first bouy. Rumor has it, it’s 1 and 1/2 miles out and back. Thus the farthest I have ever swum. It felt great too. Just found the zone and focused on form and enjoyed the whole thing. I would have to say this was my first perfect swim. The last four have been good as well, but I’ve been so focused on “Are we there yet?” that I haven’t been able to find my zen. My stroke felt great, solid. The deltoids are still a little sore, but not like before. I guess I may just have to swim OW more often throughout the week rather than just on Saturdays.
So the bike out to practice sucked. Hard. It started out okay, but all hills basically wore me out. I was carrying about 20 lbs or so more than usual with my pannier bag and my wetsuit, bike lock, etc., in it. Oh and water weight of my bottles. I’ve come to the conclusion that my sleep habits suck as much as my shift work. I work nights. On my last day of work, I stay up for a few hours (as many as I can) and then I crash for 24 hours. I tend to wake up every four hours for a bathroom break, a snack and maybe a glance at email. I either feel like I need this much sleep or sometimes I have to force myself to sleep that long in order to stay up all night because I need to sleep all the next day in preparation for work that next night. Hope that makes sense. Sleeping that long can decondition you. Take your strength away because you’re just laying there and not using your muscles. 8 hours worth is recuperative. More than that can decondition. This is what I believe happened, because it’s happened before and I’m just now starting to put it all together. I think I only have 5 more weeks of night shift left before I start the day shift, thankfully. But I can’t go letting that happen again. It’s so discouraging to get out there for a workout and have it feel horrible. There’s no speed, no endurance, no energy. Today, I was so close to turning around and going home. “I can’t believe I did a HIM 6 weeks ago. What the hell am I doing out here?” I forced myself to just do it. There was this portion that has this unbelievably steep hill. I pushed so hard up it and only made it up half way on the bike and had to walk the rest. As soon as I got to the top, I felt like I wanted to puke from the effort. Again, “Who am I kidding?!”. I rested for a few minutes and got my breathing back to normal and carried on. I wonder why I was late?? Anyhow, I finally got to the swim and went into automatic - well after settling some tummy discomfort from the ride. My legs were happy for the rest that the swim brought. After the swim, I felt good on the bike. I was able to ride with speed and consistency. It felt like the ride out to practice had never happened. ??? I even caught up to and passed two of the other women who were at the practice and had biked in as well.
So a bit of revelation and some zen to finish it off. Man, endorphins rock! Too much sleep does not!
Midnight run July 31, 2007
Posted by toni in : Training, Running , 4 commentsRan six miles tonight. Felt okay. Definitely need to run more to improve my form and breathing. The run seemed to go pretty fast, which was interesting since it took me 70 mins to complete. It must have been the dark streets I had to run through. I was too distracted by what could possibly lie in the bushes or the shadows. Not the brightest thing in the world to do, but when I have to stay up all night in order to sleep all day so that I can work the next night, there’s not a whole lot to do. Might as well train… or have the mystery of the night speed me along my session. My back was a little annoyed with me, but nothing I couldn’t handle. I need to find a nearby track to do some intervals on next.
Have you seen my socks?!? July 29, 2007
Posted by toni in : Training, Swimming, Biking , 2 commentsYesterday was the typical long training day. Had a friend, Mike, join me for once. We did a 1 mile OW swim in roughly 40 mins. I’m getting more and more confident with my swim in the wetsuit. Still having to get used to rotating more than usual and my deltoids being sore from the restriction of the suit. But all in all, it’s going pretty well. Since the suit helps keep my feet up at the surface though, it’s making my lower back arch more than I would like and making it sore. Guess I’ll have to work on my core bit.
We refueled with breakfast and then headed out for a 30 mile bike ride. Right before we left Mike jokingly said, “You haven’t had a blood transfusion recently or are doping? ‘Cause I don’t ride with dopers….” I retorted, “Have you seen my socks?!?” He looks down and sees that they say “Dopers Suck”. I thought it would be fitting to wear them on the last weekend of the TdF. I’m not so sad now that I’ve missed the whole thing due to not having cable. The Tour de Dope has been no loss for me. Maybe this will change cycling. Maybe not.
We had a good ride. Spent a lot of time between 17-19 mph and even a little time at 22 mph on our way back. At the end of our adventure was a large hill. A very large hill. Similar to the 7% grade 1 mile hill of STP. It wasn’t so bad on my road bike during the STP because I have the typical 3 chain ring on it. My Cervelo has the typical TT 2 chain rings which are not useful for climbing when I’m used to climbing in my comfy 3rd ring of the road bike. I think I was going 3 mph during part of it. About 100 yards from the top, I could feel my legs start to shake as I pushed on the down stroke. I’d already decided to add a third chain ring a long time ago, but I’m pretty dead set on it now. That was painful. Before the hill I could’ve probably done 15 miles more. After the hill, I barely had the last three miles in me to finish.
Six mile run tomorrow instead of today since my lower back was feeling vulnerable and my tendons were feeling tight despite stretching.
Seattle to Portland 2007 July 16, 2007
Posted by toni in : Biking , 2 commentsBack in February, I got a call from my friend Marisa asking me if I wanted to do the Seattle to Portland (STP) bike ride this year. She was interested in doing it and since I had done it before she wanted me to join her.
I had to say yes, since one of my friends finally wanted to join me on an endurance adventure. I always end up doing them by myself despite my invitations to friends. I wasn’t about to pass this up.
She did some training from March until the ride, with 40 miles being her longest ride. I shouldn’t have told her that my longest ride before my first STP was 48 miles “and I did just fine.” I had done many endurace events before my first. This was her very first endurance event, ever. Oh well. She’s knows differently now.
She arrived in Renton Thursday and we went to a Mariners game, like we always do when she’s in town. Friday we picked up our packets and then put together my bike rack that goes on my hitch. Love it!! Then we met up with my aunt, uncle and cousin for dinner, as they were going to be our sag wagon for the weekend. A plan was formulated and pasta was loaded on.
Saturday morning, we were supposed to be up at 4:15am, but someone’s alarm clock didn’t go off (oops! Bad hostess). I woke up around 5:30am, realized my mistake and woke up the troops. We loaded everything up and got to the start line at about 6:30am after a quick trip for coffee. The start line was open from 5:15 to 7am. The ride started off pretty well. Marisa’s comfortable speed is not the same as mine so I would look back for her often and slow down to catch up/back to her. Later on, I found it was easier to just stay behind her and then I didn’t have to look for her anymore, risk losing her or risk crashing. At about mile 42 we came to the dreaded hill that everyone talks about. It’s a 1 mile 7% grade hill with a relative flat area in the middle for about 300 feet. Lots of huffing and puffing could be heard by all. Marisa only had to walk the 2nd half of the first portion before the flat area and rode the rest of the way up. It’s a tough hill and being from TriCities where it’s basically flat desert land, I think she did pretty damn well. The rest of the day I think we averaged 10 mph. Towards the end 9 mph. Which was kind of hard, but she did as much as she could. After 10 hours of being on the road and 85 miles behind us, we were toast. Drove to our motel, took a lovely hot shower, ate dinner, lounged in the hot tub for a while and then crashed into a deep, deep sleep.
Sunday. I was soooo tired. Neither of us wanted to get back on our bikes but we knew we had to. She felt she had about 50 miles in her and wanted to ride into Portland, so we drove to Kelso and were dropped off. The good thing about this ride is that you can start and stop in the middle where ever you want. Couples with kids will take turns riding and driving the sag. Others will ride as a group splitting sag driving responsibilities. You can basically mold it into whatever you want. You’ve paid for the experience and road support and you basically make it your own kind of adventure. Marisa had a hard time with not riding the whole thing, but I reasoned with her that this was her first endurance event and now that she knows what it takes she can train more this next year and come back and ride the whole thing next year. I think the factor of the unknown kind of freaked her out and was also draining a little bit of her energy as well.
So off we went from Kelso. We rode over the Lewis & Clark Bridge which is really cool to ride on. She was a bit faster today then she was towards the end of Saturday. On hills she would say “meet you at the top”, letting me zoom up to the top to wait for her. Sometimes if there were multiple hills I would just ride them all and then wait for her at the end. I would ask her if she needed to rest or if she wanted to keep going, her answer was always “Keep going”. We had fun through out the whole thing. Stopped for coffee on Sunday and met up with my aunt and uncle as needed. We even got to enjoy popsicles that they bought for us! Yum! Our ride support was phenomenal! This happened to be half of my same race support from Pac Crest. They made us sandwiches, filled our water bottles, sat us in the shade… It would have been much harder without their support. Rode about 60 miles this day.
Marisa’s inspired to do the whole thing next year. My aunt and cousin are inspired to train and try it next year. Still working on my uncle.
145 miles total. Marisa did pretty good for her first endurance event! Good thing is, she’s caught the bug! Congrats Marisa!
Wetsuit issues conquered July 9, 2007
Posted by toni in : Training, Running, Swimming , 4 commentsToday I conquered my issues involving my wetsuit. I got in, breathed every other stroke and did really well. No hyperventilation. No swallowing water. No swimming with my head above water, except to sight. It felt good. The swim area I went to was 60 yards wide. I probably swam 50 yards each way since I didn’t go all the way to the logs. Then again, there were a lot of waves from boats so maybe I swam more?
For a couple weeks now, I’ve been telling myself I should run down to the local park, swim for a while and then run back. Rather than continue to talk the talk, I chose to walk the walk. Gotta start some time, right? AND I really needed to deal with my wetsuit issues. See if it was the wetsuit itself (too constricting?), the excitement of the race start, or the fact that I really did need to put my head under water to get past not wanting to put my face in.
I ran about 1 mile to the park down the road where there would be less people to gawk at the wetsuit girl. I live across from a large park where there are tons of people walking, sunning, playing volleyball, BBQ’ing, etc. I’m not courageous enough for that yet. Took it slow on the way there, since it was my first run in two weeks. Then began the wetsuit tango. Made extra sure I had the wetsuit up enough in the legs, then the torso and finally the arms. I think this was the best suit up I’ve done so far. All the other times have been moderately rushed and I probably didn’t pull everything up enough.
Turns out the wetsuit is fine. Limits my range of motion in my arms, as expected, but that was the only thing I could find.
I think the adrenaline of the start does get to me. Everyone around me jumps in, starts thrashing for space in their quest to find their groove and I guess I get caught up in it and take on that energy to be my own. Maybe it’s the word “race” too. What do you think of when you hear the word race? I think - fast, speed, quickness, run for you lives! Gets my heart beating too rapidly to be endurable. At least with a wetsuit on. Today was the opposite. Calm (except for the water), serene and MY pace. And to test the face in the water theory, I dove right in to get past that part.
All in all, today was a confidence builder. I didn’t swim for long since the swim area was only open for 30 more mins once I got my wetsuit on. I’m pretty sure I got laughed at by some young guys, but I wasn’t out there for them and they don’t know what I’m all about. One of them did ask what I was training for, so at least one of them had a clue. Another asked if I was going to go scuba diving. 
“No I’m practicing swimming in my wetsuit.” No pressure now!
Afterwards, I ran the mile back home, nice and easy.
Little steps is what it takes. Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other and it will all come together eventually.
First HIM complete June 27, 2007
Posted by toni in : Races , 12 commentsPacific Crest Half Ironman inSunriver, OR - June 23rd, 2007
I can’t believe I did it, but I’m still living in euphoria from finishing. Leading up to the race, I’d had a difficult time balancing working the night shift, sleep, injuries and training. It’s amazing how life is thrown off kilter just by living and working different hours than most of the work force. Three twelve hour shifts followed by 20-24 hours of sleep. Yikes. Training happened, but not as much as I would have liked. I definitely had the miles in for the bike and the swim and knew I could go the distance for those two. Having just started running again at the end of April due to a stress fracture in my Right foot in January, the longest run I’d done was 4 miles.
The two weeks before the race I was feeling numb and like a deer in headlights. Frozen by too many thoughts of the unknown swimming through my head. The what if’s, what about’s, should I’s, etc. Nutrition was kind of an issue as I wasn’t sure what I should do. I hadn’t been taking in nutrition on my previous long rides. Maybe an Ensure before a ride or two. Looking back, those were pretty good rides. The bad rides were the ones where little, if any, nutrition was taken in. I have all of these books on training and prep too, but I couldn’t even get myself to sit down and read them. Opening the books only increased my fears of not having trained enough and I didn’t want to see things that I probably should’ve done in my training since it would only further freak me out. I couldn’t even get myself to pack for my trip until the day I left. Weird psychological sh!t going on. Freak out!
Wednesday I spent the day running the typical prep errands after getting off of work that morning. Ended up staying up until 9pm. Oops. Not good sleep prep. Story of my life. Made my list of things to pack and made sure that all of my prep errands were run. Finally crawled into bed.
Thursday, I woke up and didn’t want to get up. Slept a few more hours, postponing my trip and leaving later than planned. Finally left at 2:30 after packing and a running a few more errands. Got to Sunriver at about 8:45p. Had the house to myself that night. Good for clearing my mind and trying to relax.
Friday, I picked up my race packet and changed my division from AG to Athena. Figured I should just even out the playing field. Like it mattered. But for some reason I wanted to do it. Probably to see how I compared to other women with the same build. My parents arrived after I had gotten back from packet pick up. I said hello to them and then left with some guys that were staying across the street to drop off our bikes at T1. I had gone over earlier to ask them the typical questions - have you done this race before? should I take my bike today or tomorrow? They offered to take me with them to T1 and I took them up on it. I had gotten lost getting to the house the night before, so going to the lake with people who knew their way around the area was a plus and something I couldn’t pass up. I got some good info from them as far as the course goes and what to expect. When we got there, the wind was really blowing and creating whitecaps on the lake. This further freaked me out as I’ve never swum in that kind of water before and I already have enough trouble with the swim as it is. The guys reassured me that it would be calm in the morning and placid. Thankfully, they were right. Mom and dad were fabulous and went grocery shopping while I was gone. Yea Mom and Dad!
Got back to the house and took a short nap. Then everyone started to show up. We had nine people staying in the house, so it was full. We had a BBQ that night, which I had invited other racing Trifuelers to. Got to meet Adam and his family and catch up with Paul again. It was quaint and although we were all talkative before dinner, we quickly became comatose after dinner. Siesta! Paul and Adam left a little after dinner since comatose people are not very interesting or talkative. Everyone lounged or played games after that. Thankfully, everyone in the house was really cool about letting me get the sleep I needed and we all went to bed at 10pm since I was sleeping on the sofa bed in the living room where everyone was. I got all of my race stuff ready that night and set my alarm for 6am.
Saturday - Race day! Woke up before my alarm went off. NO BAD PRE RACE DREAMS! Yea! Made coffee, started breakfast. I wasn’t hungry at all, but I knew I needed to eat. My dad, my cousin Jenny and friend Julie came with me to drop my stuff off at T2 and then to the race start which was 20+ miles away. My race support was phenomenal! Everyone took really good care of me. I barely had to do anything, which was nice since I was busy freaking out. Jenny carried my T1 gear and Julie carried all of my water bottles (3), stating “You’ve got to save your energy”. I couldn’t argue with that! Even though I got there 75 mins early, I felt like I was running late. Said Hi to a few people I knew, including Britt and her husband Tony, who was doing his first triathlon ever - a HIM! Found out I was actually in an earlier wave since I had changed my division. Had to visit the port-a-potties and by then it was time to get into my wetsuit and get ready.
Wetsuit, schmetsuit. The bain of my existence in triathlon. I had already had issues with it at a previous triathlon. Granted, I didn’t really train in open water or take the time to get used to it before that race. I had gotten some tips from a gal on my triathlon team to soak it for 5 mins (accidentally soaked it for 30 mins) and then to open up the neck line once in the water and let the suit fill with water to create some space. Soaked? Check. Water-filled suit? Check.
I’m in the water making small talk with other women and getting us all pumped up. The siren went off and everyone started swimming. I gave everyone a chance to get going before I actually attempted to swim. The swim start is my nemesis. I know I’m not alone in this and that everyone has had to deal with keeping or obtaining composure during and after the swim start, but I can’t seem to get going with out the pre-emptive hyperventilation. My dad thinks it’s because I’m afraid to put my face in the water, which I agree with. But I think it’s also the lack of OW prep, getting used to not being able to stop and take a break whenever I want and the constriction of the wetsuit. I can’t get a full breath in and that furthers the downward freak out spiral. So long story short, I ended up ditching the wetsuit AGAIN (de ja vu. so embarrassing) and spending the next 10 minutes trying to catch my breath so that I could attempt to swim like normal triathletes. I was basically trying to figure out all of my options. Can I swim with the wetsuit? Only if I want to drown. What if I just unzip the back? No help at all. What if I pull it down to my waist? Too busy hyperventilating to see if it helped. Should I quit? NO! You’re not dying or in fear for your life, so DON’T QUIT! Plus you’ve got all of those people on the shore cheering for you on AND it’s your mom’s birthday. Should I give my wetsuit to the guy on the jet ski? YES. Called him over, asked him the embarrassing question of whether he could take it for me (he could), stripped it off and then set back to the ordeal at hand. Breathing. Every time I’d get to where I could finally catch my breath, a wave would come into my mouth and I’d have to start all over again. This whole time I’m swimming the breast stroke with my head above water. Finally, I caught my breath and just did it. I put my face in the water and started swimming. Still a little freaked out (don’t worry, the freaking ends soon. Promise.) and my lungs having been stressed to the max, I had to breathe every other stroke. I tried for more strokes, but it would just get me going again. I’d had enough of freaking out. I just wanted to get the swim over with. I finally got into a groove and worked my way through the swim course. I found myself closing my eyes for part of it too, which I found interesting. 1:04:40. There’s no question what I need to improve on for the swim….
After being horizontal for over an hour, to stand up was a funny occurrence. Drunk without alcohol. At least I didn’t fall. Made it to my bike and could barely stand straight. Putting on socks was hard enough with semi-dried feet. The swaying didn’t really help the situation. Since T1 is so far away, they have us put all of our stuff that we won’t be taking on the bike in a big garbage bag with our number on it. They transport all of our bags back to the finish line for us to pick up after the race. Tying that bag was THE hardest thing to do next to putting on my socks. Hand-eye coordination was barely possible. T1, 6:08.
Finally on the bike! The part I’d been waiting for. It probably took me a good 15-20 minutes to get my legs back. My cycling was slow at first, but then picked up quite a bit after my legs woke up. 16 mph avg which was better from my sprint - 13 mph. I spun up hills and hammered the flats and down hills. Passed a few guys and played the carrot for another racer, Liz, who, when she finally caught me, said “You’re a rock star! I’ve been trying to catch up to you the whole race. I’d get close to you and then you’d dust me.” That was pretty cool. I felt really strong on the bike. My nutrition worked great - two bottles of water, one bottle of Strawberry Ensure. My only interesting moment was at mile 15 when I looked down at my arm or something and accidentally went off roading for a little bit. Thankfully I was on a gradual decline on the side of the road. A scream and some gentle braking to get me to a stop and I was good to go. I didn’t fall thankfully. It sure jolted me for a second though. Then, right after that a woman in the back seat of an oncoming car stuck her head out the window and screamed “You rock! woooo hoooo!!” For some reason, this made me start crying. It wasn’t a normal cry though. It was more of a bawling, but without the tears. I guess I had some emotions pent up in me that needed releasing, be it from the pre-race freak outs or the swim or the off road excursion or all three. I only let it go for a few seconds and then gained my composure back. Focus! That was a little weird, but at least it passed quickly and didn’t revisit again. I felt strong up until the last 8 miles. My speed started to wane and this was when Liz caught up to me and called me a ”rock star”. Must build more cycling endurance. 3:16:35.
Hit T2, sat down to put my running shoes on, drank some more Ensure and took off at a controlled pace. 4:08.
Caught up to Liz again and we set off on the run together. We started out walking in order to get our legs adjusted. Turns out, she’s had bronchitis for the last month and broke some ribs from coughing and didn’t think she’d be able to run much. I told her about my foot and mentioned that we may end up hanging together on the run. That was short lived. She’s fast than me and after all the exertion my lungs went through in the swim, they were not allowing me to run very fast at all. More a slow jog, which wasn’t fast enough to keep up with Liz. I kept getting short of breath when I tried to keep up with her. My breathing sped up and I had to stop and walk a few times. She stayed with me the first couple of times, but she was feeling strong and I didn’t want to hold her back so I told her to have a good race and I would see her at the finish. Ended up I could run, but it had to be slow. I ran/walked the first 8 miles and actually ran more of it than I thought I would. I took in Hammer gels at every aid station which happened to be every mile. This helped keep me going and the first 8 miles actually went by rather fast. The last 5 on the other hand, were slow as molasses in January. My legs and glutes had started to stiffen up and my gait was shortening. I ended up walking quite a bit for the last 5 miles. I tried and tried to run, but I was tanked. I could only run for short periods of time. After the first 2 miles, the weather started to change and the sun was taken away by cloud cover which made the temperature cool down. So much for acclimating for the heat prior to the race… I was actually cold for most of the run portion which prolonged it even more. Finally, the end came to and I was greeted with loud cheers from my family and actually hearing the announcer call out my name for once. 3:02:20 Final time - 7:33:51. Athena # 3 to cross out of 3 entered.
All in all, I had a good time. I thoroughly enjoyed the bike and was surprised at how much running I was actually able to do. My nutrition was good and the day went pretty well despite the start. Once I got into my groove of swimming, that was actually enjoyable too.
My race support was fantastic! My parents, although they think I’m a few crayons short of a full box, were extremely proud of me and very supportive. The rest of my family, Aunt Patty, Uncle Curt, and Cousin Jenny were ecstatic for me! They cheered the loudest. That’s their style though and I love them for it! And my friends Julie, Lisa and Max were very helpful the whole weekend. Julie and Jenny took me to T2 to pick up my bike and gear. Again, they carried it all for me since I was waddling due to a very large blister my pinky toe.
After the race, we all went back and gorged on food, sat in the hot tub and relaxed. Thank gawd for the hot tub. So nice! We all went to bed early again since we all had a race the next day. Julie, Lisa and Max were running the 10k, while my family and I were walking the 5k. My aunt and uncle actually ran part of the race. I was very impressed, but they said they run when they workout so it wasn’t anything new to them. I guess I just thought I was the only one who ran. Thankfully, I was wrong.
The walk was actually kind of difficult. My obliques were getting tighter with every step I took and my legs only allowed so much of a stride. It was good to get out and walk though and get some of that lactic acid out of my legs.
Things I learned: More training is needed to improve my time. It’s imperative that I get out and practice OW swims in my lovely @#$^!@* wetsuit. I need to increase my endurance on the bike to keep me strong all the way through the bike distance. Gotta get some running in.
I feel like my mental training was pretty good. I was able to problem solve, persevere and get through all situations.
Thanks to everyone who came out to Sunriver to cheer me on and to those who cheered from afar. My mental state might not have been so strong without your support! I had fun experiencing my newest distance with you all. Hopefully, you can join me on future adventures.